The cure for anything is salt water- sweat, tears, or the sea. (From Tiny Devotions Facebook page.)
Yes! I learned this yesterday and today!
Yesterday I got myself into a funk. It started brewing in the early afternoon. By evening, it was a full blown bad mood that was accompanied by crankiness. Poor Jon. I get like this every so often. I start over thinking things. Then I get overwhelmed. Then I get frustrated and feel like I have failed. Then I should really sequester myself in a room all alone because I'm not fit for company!! And really there isn't a source of all of this. It takes on a life of its own, and I can't even say what is "wrong."
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I so need to remember this! |
Luckily (for us both!), Jon had a sushi date with a buddy, so I had time to stew alone after I put Rowan to bed. While I was rocking her, I sniffled and cried a little. Feeling defeated about everything? Yes. But at the same time not even really knowing what. I just felt off. Off balance. Out of focus. Intuitively, I must have known what would help because as I was rocking Rowan, I decided I would do a yoga video. I haven't done much yoga, especially recently, but I know how great it is. Each time I've made time for it, I haven't regretted it. Last night was no exception. I chose a 20 minute, release the tension video that is free on the
lululemon website. The 20 minutes flew by, and at the end of the practice, I was much more relaxed, and I felt much more centered. I'm looking forward to making this a consistent part of my week!
I also felt inspired. I haven't done much meditation in recent memory, either. I used to frequently. I've let things fall away over the last few years, thinking I didn't need them or wasn't interested anymore. I allowed things to fall away, I think, because I wasn't confident enough to trust my intuition, my judgment, my choices. I'm working on changing that. So I found my favorite guided meditation by
Adyashanti. What I like about him and his meditations is that they are not so bound by the idea that your mind has to be empty, blank. Because I know that I always used to stress that I couldn't do that good enough. I'd always struggle. Then I'd feel like a failure. And then get frustrated. Sound familiar?
This particular meditation focused on letting everything be as it is. A perfect reminder for where I found myself yesterday evening! I was allowing myself and my entire mood and experience be shaded by what I felt like I should have done about random things in the past. Or how I wished things could have been. I wasn't trusting. I wasn't allowing everything to be as it is. I wasn't being present. At all. By shifting my focus back to the present and by releasing control, I could relax. I could find my balance again. I found a peace after thirty minutes of quiet meditation.
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Just one of the many great views at First Landing. One run, I'll remember to bring my camera! |
The final cure for my mood was an eight mile run this morning at First Landing. It was much better than last week's run, but it still took a good 4 miles to really get comfortable. Why is it always like that?! The weather was perfect today. Cool temps, no sun, no wind. The trails were very quiet for such a perfect running day, and my legs and breathing felt great. I'm learning to listen to my body, so when my knee started hurting around miles 3 and 5, I stopped to stretch. I focused on Adyashanti's meditation, and tried to let everything be. I have to get out of my head during runs, so I really tried to take in the scenery and the great nature in the park. The mental game of running is harder for me than the physical game. I know that I will be battling myself more on June 2 during the half than anything else. I need to practice letting everything be as it is, so I can get out of my own way. I know my body is strong. I know that I'm training to ensure that it will stay strong through 13.1 miles.
Yoga. Letting everything be as it is. Running by the sea. Give it a try if you find yourself in a negative space or a space of self-doubt. It so easily allowed what I was struggling with to begin to fall away. It is one more way I work on being present.
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Nap post run. I was too tired to get out of the rocking chair and put her in her bed, so we just snuggled! |