Early Moments

I take so many pictures of you because I want to remember, want to hold onto these brief, early moments.





Your sweet, quiet sleep. Usually on me.





Easy mornings, just us. Rendering me couch-bound, I savor the stillness and our time together. Knowing that all too soon creeping time will steal this away and memories of you right now will slowly fade.




Because I know you are my last. The right decision? Yes, I think so, but one that easily brings a stirring of heartache.


Link up with Semi-Wordless Wednesdays!

Rocking

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gjkindelmann/100637791/

I've spent hours rocking. Hours swaying with a limp, slightly sweaty baby on my shoulder. Hours given way to pure commune with the little miracle I helped create.

Rocking Pacey.  Crying silent, painful tears into his sleeping ear.  Telling him he was all that mattered.  Because in those desperate moments, he was.

Rocking Gage.  Feeling very small and lonely in our little beach house that wrapped us in a cocoon, that caught me as I fell.

There's a different kind of sadness now.  A wistfulness, an already intense nostalgia at what will be finished all too quickly.

So I rock a little longer, hold this baby a little tighter, and linger next to her sweet breath.

Joy

Toothless smiles during midnight diaper changes.
Two sweaty hugs after school's out.
Teenage stories filled with drama, angst.
A partner in life, for life.
Knowing second chances are still real.

Link up with Six Word Fridays and Making Things Up!

Growing Up

Recent milestones:


1. Gage called me “mom” instead of “mommy” for the first time.

2. Pacey learned to make armpit farts.

Both make me want to cry.

Losing Teeth, Marking Time

Over Thanksgiving weekend, Gage lost one of his front, top teeth— his third lost tooth so far:

He’s so excited, but it leaves me feeling ambivalent— I remember how big that baby tooth looked when it first cut through his baby gums, and now compared to the gaping hole and the grown-up tooth that’s coming in, it looks so small.

It seemed such a short time ago, but he’s already seven and growing so fast. It makes me think about our little baby girl on the way, and I hope to savor every moment because I’m sure before we know it, she will be losing her baby teeth, too.

Dear Baby...

Dear baby girl, Amazing that even though I’ve never met you, I don’t know your personality, and I don’t know what you look like, I already love you with the depth, heart, and soul that only a mother knows.