Monday, April 30, 2012

Live Like You're One

Shortly after a frustrated meltdown-- back at it!
I was watching Rowan play this morning, and it hit me just how much I can learn from her. She is always present. Her entire being exists in the moment. I know that isn't by choice- it is just how it is- but I see that I can follow her lead in many things.

I've come up with my new list of 40 day goals (check out the new tab!), and I realized this morning that one year olds live very unapologetically. Not just to us poor parents, but more importantly to themselves. There is none of the defeating self-talk that pummeled me into my foul mood on Friday. There is no second guessing choices made. She might make a mistake, she might get overwhelmed and frustrated, she might fall, but she moves on almost immediately. None of that defines who she is in any way.

I know it's easy to look at an unknowing one year old and see that wisdom when she knows no other way. But what if? What if we could live like that, even for a brief time each day? What if after we fall, after we make a choice, for better or worse, we simply move on? It may help us the next time, or we may forget about it completely. But the bottom line is it does not define who we are.

This is what my number one goal is about. No more apologies to myself for what I've done or haven't done. No more allowing those things to define me and my present experience.

I've recently been harassing myself for not blogging consistently over the last few years- for struggling to find my true voice, for feeling defeated and overwhelmed. I'm finished apologizing to myself for that. It is what it is. And if I truly believe that all is in perfect order, and I do, I have to stop allowing that to define my current experience. It's amazing how things shift when you drop the old baggage. Already, new experiences are waiting to be had! I'm excited for a fresh start.

There are so many other apologies I'm dropping... I'm giving myself permission to let them go!

For not running throughout my pregnancy...
For not feeling confident enough to live my truth consistently...
For feeling like I wasn't always patient enough, present enough with the boys when I was a single mom...

I could make a long list, but the details aren't important. The shift is what is what is important. No more apologies!

What can we learn from watching our children?

Love each step.

No comments:

Post a Comment